Today is my birthday. I don't know if it is the fertility drugs or what but I am pretty miserable today. In the back of my mind, turning 37 and going thru IVF#2 at the same time is weighing on me... big time actually. I am totally depressed about it. Why I didn't take the day off from work is beyond me. I never work on my birthday. Perhaps in my twisted mind I thought work would be a good distraction today. Instead, it is one frustration after another. Boo today. It is rainy.
The t-shirt IJ got me for my birthday that I was soooo excited about, is the wrong size and so I couldn't wear it today (Friday's are "fun t-shirt" day at the office). When I opened it last night I was so upset. I know, it is only a t-shirt, and perhaps I should have been flattered that IJ thinks I wear a smaller size than I actually do, but it was disappointing. My personality is such that I am often disappointed on my birthday and Christmas. It isn't that I don't receive enough, I don't really care about the gifts themselves. It is the thought behind them that matters to me. And I always end up feeling like people don't know me at all. IJ meant well with his gift choices, but the t-shirt thing really threw me. I do think the fertility meds are affecting my mood this round. Last round, I had no issues at all. I was more even keeled and, dare I say, happier when I was on them. But not this time. Everything is setting me off. I have been awful to IJ all week long - and believe me, he doesn't deserve it. I need to be better about catching myself doing it and shutting myself off before I say something stupid.
1 comment:
Wishing you a Happy Birthday and sending a HUG...hoping you feel better soon!!
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