Seems I just can't get enough of needles lately. Yesterday i met with a new acupuncturist who specializes in fertility and came highly recommended by my RE. I was seeing a fantastic acupuncturist for a while in the spring/early summer but then she was on vacation when I really needed the treatments the most (during the ER/ET timing). So, this being the "pull out all the stops" cycle, I decided to spend the extra $$ and go with Jose.
We had a great consult and I left feeling really positive about the whole thing. I am booked, and have paid for appointments 2x/week for the next 4 weeks - right up until the retrieval. Then after the transfer, I will continue 2x per week until the beta test. I have prepaid up through one visit after the transfer. I am really hoping this helps with the stress of the whole process.
So after Tuesday night's news, and spending Wednesday in a very dark place, I am feeling back to myself since yesterday morning. I have actually been in a better mood than I have been all week. Even though my sister doesn't know how the news affected me, I have been feeling like I should talk to her about it. The problem is, we have never been that close, and all 3 of us have some self-esteem issues due to some choices our father made when we were younger (and even still if I am honest about it). I am concerned that she will take it badly if I try to explain how I felt. And if I talk about how I don't feel like she even wants to understand what I am going through. Or that her support would be very helpful to me. Or that I want to be closer to her. You see, she has the middle child mentality of "why can't everyone just get along?".
As my mom pointed out when I spoke with her Wednesday night, I had always said that I would rather have someone hurt me with the truth, than to hide something from me or lie to me about something. And Je calling to tell me about the pregnancy, I am sure, was difficult for her. But, she did it. She did before there was any chance I would hear it from someone other than her. And I really am thankful for that. I think the first time I see her face to face will be tough. And if my IVF fails I am not sure I will want to see her for a while. But no matter what, she is my sister and that baby is my nephew or niece. And regardless of my own hurt or happiness, their health and happiness is vitally important to me.
2 comments:
Yay for acupuncture! I am loving mine. Right now I only go once a week, but I'm wondering now if he will want to see me twice a week once we start my IVF cycle in 2 weeks. It definitely gets expensive, but I feel like it's so worth it!
Sorry about the news with your sister. I've been reading and catching up with you. One of my good friends is pregnant, and it's tough, I can't imagine hearing about my sister! Be strong and don't beat yourself for feeling what you feel. It's going to be okay. *Hugs*
Thanks Sarra. I had a great talk with my sister yesterday and really feel better. Infertility can be so isolating.
My acupuncturist said 2x/week is ideal. I asked if 3x would be better and he said it wasn't necessary. Ha, i am so putting everything into this, I would live there if he told me it would help.
Looks like we will still be cycle buddies. October 9, here we come!!
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