So my appointment last Thursday didn't go as well as I had hoped it would. My placenta is actually now covering my cervix more than it was 3 weeks ago. So, when I go to the doctor on tomorrow, I will likely be scheduling my son's birthday. The past few days have been filled with a variety of emotions. I wanted the opportunity to experience labor, to have that rush of getting to the hospital, using the childbirth techniques we have been learning in class and seeing how long I could go without the epidural. I even had a free doula lined up. My masseuse needs one more birth for her certification so she was going to handle my birth and not charge me anything.... but alas, not doula needed for a c-section.
I do like the idea of knowing the date of my son's impending birth. But the idea of surgery scares the crap out of me. I have never broken a bone or even had a stitch. Never mind having my abdomen cut open and my organs moved around in order to pull a baby out. I can hardly even think about it without wanting to cry. And I keep having this panic that they are going to nick the baby with the scalpel - I saw it on Grey's Anatomy once and I can't put it out of my head but rationally, I know it is HIGHLY unlikely. Or the vision of myself falling asleep during a midnight feeding and rolling on top of him. These are the things that keep me up at night (thank you pregnancy insomnia!). I know they say that this insomnia is supposed to be preparing me for being up most of the night with a newborn, but I would very much appreciate all of the sleep I can get for now.
So I am nearing the end, and then nearing the beginning. Time moves slowly, time moves too quickly... sometimes it doesn't seem to move at all. All I know is, I am ready to meet my son, no matter what the method of delivery is, getting him here safely is all that really matters. And hopefully, that day is coming in a little over 5 weeks.
2 comments:
I'm sorry to hear you've had a change of plans and will have to do a c-section, but with previa I guess there's really no choice. It's the safest way for mom and baby and that's what matters.
My friend just had her c-section for complete placenta previa last week and everything went perfectly. Everyone is healthy and happy and the baby is perfect! I'm sure you will have the same result. She had hers at 36 weeks, 5 days so you might be meeting your baby earlier than 5 weeks! Keep us updated!
I know all too well the feelings you're having. Breech baby = no choice but the CSection. I just kept saying "whatever is safest for baby and me." It will be a hard recovery, but you will be prepared and more than ready to take it head on. I'm so excited for you and message me anytime you wanna chat or ask about the CS. I will be brutally honest!
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