He's here...

Introducing my son...

born June 28, 2012

7:57am

6lbs 10oz, 19 3/4" long

Sorry it took so long to get this up here. But as I am sure you can understand, life has been BUSY! We have been home for a week now and adjusting to life with a newborn. It has been great, and it has been rough - but I wouldn't change a thing.

The delivery was rather uneventful. Normal c-section, 15 seconds of excitement (said my doctor) because my placenta was covering my cervix more than expected. I went in the OR at 7:30 and was out by 8:45 with 15 staples across my abdomen - that was weird. IJ was there with me and got to cut the cord. I have never seen him so excited and happy as he was the moment our son was born. I didn't get to see the baby right away, well, I saw him from afar. But after a little while, IJ was able to bring him over to me. I kissed his cheek and they whisked him away to the nursery. IJ went with him for a bit and then came back down to see me. I couldn't wait to hold my son. By 9am, he was in my arms. It was amazing.

He sleeps a lot during the day and wants to party (or fuss) at night. Hoping to get that turned around soon. We is a good eater, unfortunately, he wasn't a good latcher - especially once we started supplementing with formula. The bottle were so easy and breastfeeding was a lot of work. Not to mention I kept getting so stressed about every feeding because he wasn't putting on weight and dropped 11% of his weight in the hospital. I would cry and cry every time I tried to feed him. With my history of depression, and all the hormonal changes postpartum, Sunday IJ and I decided to stop breastfeeding. I still pump so that he is getting some benefits but he is really a formula baby now. There is nothing wrong with it, I just felt like I was failing him. But I had to weigh out the situation and in the long run, a happier mom is a better mom. I could see myself heading toward resenting him and that wasn't going to be good. Anyway, I am ok with with our decision now.

My sciatica is STILL lingering, It is much better, but definitely not gone. I went back to acupuncture last week and have 2 more treatments this week. The 24 hours after the spinal were blissful - no pain at all. But it returned with a vengence and was particularly bad in that hospital bed. Hopefully it will subside soon.

Well, enough for now, I have to go get the boy from his crib.

It's baaaacckkk...

Sciatica. And boy is it bad now! I can barely move my left leg after I am sitting for a little while. The pain is excruciating. Worse than it was when I first had it. At least it will only be for a few days. Hopefully after the birth on Thursday the pain will go away...hopefully!

It's official...

My C-section is scheduled for next Thursday June 28 at 9am. I found out yesterday afternoon but I think it hasn't quite set in yet. While I am thrilled to meet my son, I feel overwhelmed that I have "more to do" to prepare. Like what? honestly, there really isn't much. We are picking our glider up tomorrow morning, I have 2 co-sleeper sheets to wash, need to buy an iPod shuffle for his lullabyes and I need to buy him a pair or 2 of newborn size pants (I wasn't expecting him to be so little at birth - 6lbs as of Wed). Otherwise, it is stuff for me that I need - a robe and slippers, a few items to return at the mall, some make-up (not for the hospital, but for the weeks I am home before I am fully mobile again), packing my hospital bag, I would like to get his quilt finished (well, at least get the quilting done and backing on) and IJ and I would like to go out to dinner and a movie since this will be our last weekend as just the 2 of us.

I can't believe I am days away, just 6 days.... this journey has been so long - 26 months actually. I admit there were times that I doubted this would happen, that I would actually become a mom. Those days weren't many and weren't often but when they hit, they were brutal. But I try my best to focus on the best days - our second egg retrieval when we had 12 eggs, the day we got the call from the fertility clinic that we were pregnant, the day of our first ultrasound, the first time I heard my baby's heartbeat, the day we found out we were having a son, the day of my shower and all the love that filled that room. And the best day is yet to come - next Thursday morning.

There are so many people I am thankful to have had supporting me throughout this process - while I never name any names on this blog, I will say this:

My OB office - Thank you Dr S and Nurse J
My Fertility clinic - Thank you Dr H, Dr W, the best Phlebotomist ever, the great ultrasound tech I saw almost daily and the nursing staff (except the girl who gave me my IV for retrieval #2, no thanks to her - lol)
My friends at work - LH, LC, MR, KF, SC, MF, TA, KT, SS - their daily encouragement definitely made those shots a lot easier to handle
My babycenter.com girls - I could not have gotten to this point without their support
My church family and friends praying for us

My family. Even though none of them could fully understand our process and all the IVF terminology, my mom and sisters were great. My aunts and cousins who knew about the second cycle were amazingly supportive.

And last but definitely not least, my husband. While I know exactly how this process made me feel, I don't think I will ever really know how it affected IJ. I know he was always being strong for me and not letting me see his own frustration month after month of us not being pregnant - and especially after the first IVF cycle failed. He put up with so many mood swings the fertility drugs caused me to have. And bravely stuck me with needles full of thick oil every night for weeks. He has rubbed my swollen, pregnant feet almost daily for weeks and done so much around the house so that I could rest after work. He's been reading the books, hanging things in the nursery, installing car seats and putting together toys. And I know he can barely hold in his excitement to meet our son next week. I am so glad to finally be able to give him a son.

Full Term - 37 weeks

We have made it to a critical point... Baby J is full term. And I am waiting on a call from my doctor's scheduler to let me know if the c-section will be June 28 or 29. Yes, NEXT WEEK! I am a bundle of emotions about this - scared of the surgery, excited to meet my son but also scared that I will have this awesome responsibility of raising a child. I am sort of walking around feeling like time is standing still. There are still a lot of little things to do before he gets here. And this coming weekend is my last batch of free time for a long time. I will update again later after the phone call. 

Gross

So now I understand the non-joys of late pregnancy. Here is a lovely photo of my feet last night:

I had flip flops on all day - nothing tight, nothing with a heel... gross. One thing I have never had is cankles. This morning they were better, but who knows what I will find tonight when I take my sneakers off.

My hands are really swollen too. I haven't worn my wedding ring in weeks. Hopefully this goes away pretty fast after the baby is born.

36 weeks and counting down

Cant believe the end of my pregnancy is in sight. The beginning went by slowly but these last 10 or so weeks have FLOWN by! I am getting tired very easily. Even trekking up to our condo on the 4th floor (no elevator) has gotten tough. The hot days are the worst - the swollen feet and hands get so painful. But, I am still doing everything I have been doing and the nursery is just about ready. I keep looking in there for something more to do to get ready, but there really isn't much left. Our glider will be here late next week and once that is in, a few adjustments will be made and that's it... DONE!

I started non stress tests 2x/week - first one was this past Wednesday. Baby J passed with flying colors. The nurse called him an over-achiever. Second one is tomorrow. My appt with the doctor went well on Wednesday too. He did say he is amazed that I haven't had another bleeding incident by now and that he expected me to already be on bed rest. But I have followed his instructions to a T. I guess I had sort of forgotten those things were likely to happen. It is possible that the baby's head is resting right on my placenta and even if it does bleed some, the blood might be trapped by his head. We don't know for sure - that is just a theory.

Anyway, my doctor isn't comfortable waiting until July 9 for my c-section. We are hoping something opens up the week of July 2 but if it isn't looking that way, he may move me up to June 28...June 28, as in less than 2 weeks from today. He will be 38 weeks exactly. Earlier than I would like, but my doctor doesn't want to risk me having a bad bleed and getting freaked out. He said he'd be comfortable with a delivery at 38 weeks.

So now we wait and see. I continue the NSTs and I have a BPP (Bio physical Profile) ultrasound next Wednesday. If those continue to go well, maybe we will hold off. If they don't, the 28th is probably likely. It may be more likely anyway. I really don't know. Either way, our son will be here before we know it! Amazing....

Birth Day

C-Section is currently scheduled for Monday July 9. We will see if the little guy is willing to wait that long. Exact time not yet determined.

4 weeks from today!