aka: 10dpo, the time when I start to get anxious.
So many waves of hope and discouragement. One minute I am sure this time worked, the next minute I am sure it didn't. Other than a few vivid dreams, I am feeling no symptoms. I had some period type cramping yesterday, but I also had some gas pain so I am not sure which was which and when. I want this so badly. But I am so afraid that I can't have it. Just a few more days of waiting. In less than 96 hours, I will know.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
5DP2DT
or 7 days past ovulation/retrieval.
Feeling all sorts of little things in my body. Tired, hungry, mild cramping and a lot of bloating. Every one of these things could mean something good, or they could mean nothing at all. That is the evil thing about the progesterone shots. (Well besides the constant soreness of the injection sites) The side effects are very similar to pregnancy or an oncoming new cycle. As if the 2 week wait isn't stressful enough.
So today I am halfway through said 2WW and last IVF cycle, I got a call from a nurse at the RE's office to see how I was doing. Nothing this time. Or at least no call as of yet. I guess 2 cycles makes me a pro. ha!
Feeling all sorts of little things in my body. Tired, hungry, mild cramping and a lot of bloating. Every one of these things could mean something good, or they could mean nothing at all. That is the evil thing about the progesterone shots. (Well besides the constant soreness of the injection sites) The side effects are very similar to pregnancy or an oncoming new cycle. As if the 2 week wait isn't stressful enough.
So today I am halfway through said 2WW and last IVF cycle, I got a call from a nurse at the RE's office to see how I was doing. Nothing this time. Or at least no call as of yet. I guess 2 cycles makes me a pro. ha!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
3dp2dt
Translated is 3 days past 2 day transfer....
Embryo transfer was only 3 days ago and I am bored staying home. I go back to work on Thursday so I have been trying to do a little more each day. I think I overdid it a bit yesterday - my first non all day resting day. I was quilting a queen size quilt so I had to deal with ironing it and trying to maneuver it through the sewing machine. It was heavy and awkward but I just couldn't sit still anymore. I didn't do much else but did spend about 5 hours quilting. I had some cramping and a little brown spotting. I called the doctor's office and the nurse said it was normal and a good sign.
Today I took the dog for a light walk. It felt so nice to actually leave my condo! I made some cookies for IJ and I sewed the trim on the quilt so that I can start the hand sewing today. Now I am relaxing with some lunch.
Still have a little cramping and now I don't want the cramping to stop. I am feeling very different this cycle. Feeling a lot more this cycle which makes sense because I got twice the eggs this time. I am technically 5 days passed ovulation and this is about the time when an embryo (or 2) can implant. So I welcome all of these twinges that are giving me hope. I want this so badly, more than I have admitted to myself previously. I think I have kept questioning if I want this in order to not get let down if it doesn't work. I am not a big fan of disappointment.
So I press on through this awful 2 week wait. But I welcome the awful because at the end, it will be pure joy when I get those positive beta results.
Embryo transfer was only 3 days ago and I am bored staying home. I go back to work on Thursday so I have been trying to do a little more each day. I think I overdid it a bit yesterday - my first non all day resting day. I was quilting a queen size quilt so I had to deal with ironing it and trying to maneuver it through the sewing machine. It was heavy and awkward but I just couldn't sit still anymore. I didn't do much else but did spend about 5 hours quilting. I had some cramping and a little brown spotting. I called the doctor's office and the nurse said it was normal and a good sign.
Today I took the dog for a light walk. It felt so nice to actually leave my condo! I made some cookies for IJ and I sewed the trim on the quilt so that I can start the hand sewing today. Now I am relaxing with some lunch.
Still have a little cramping and now I don't want the cramping to stop. I am feeling very different this cycle. Feeling a lot more this cycle which makes sense because I got twice the eggs this time. I am technically 5 days passed ovulation and this is about the time when an embryo (or 2) can implant. So I welcome all of these twinges that are giving me hope. I want this so badly, more than I have admitted to myself previously. I think I have kept questioning if I want this in order to not get let down if it doesn't work. I am not a big fan of disappointment.
So I press on through this awful 2 week wait. But I welcome the awful because at the end, it will be pure joy when I get those positive beta results.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Embabies on board!
Embryo transfer was this morning. We put in "2 excellent embryos". The RE looked back at our report from the last transfer and said these are definitely better. They are both 4 cell and one has very even cells. The other is a little less perfect in cell shape, but still great. We have 2 others that they will continue to grow but they don't look as good. He said if they continue to divide, they will be frozen. He didn't seem hopeful they would make it that far but you never know.
I went into the procedure so guarded. I was afraid to be hopeful, afraid they wouldn't be any better quality than last time. As soon as I was told they were better, my whole mood changed. I pray this is it for us! I have a little cramping here and there but feel good. And finally, I feel hopeful.
The RE also told us that of the 12 eggs they retrieved, 11 were mature but only 4 fertilized. I was so puzzled by this because last time 4 out of 6 fertilized. He said if we do this again, we would need ICSI, a procedure where they inject a single sperm into each egg to aid in fertilization. I wasn't expecting that news at all. I am trying not to think about those other 7 eggs. I need to just believe these 2 are the best of them all anyway.
So in 12 days I will go for my blood test. These next 12 days are going to be emotionally draining. But that sums up IVF doesn't it? An emotional roller coaster.
I went into the procedure so guarded. I was afraid to be hopeful, afraid they wouldn't be any better quality than last time. As soon as I was told they were better, my whole mood changed. I pray this is it for us! I have a little cramping here and there but feel good. And finally, I feel hopeful.
The RE also told us that of the 12 eggs they retrieved, 11 were mature but only 4 fertilized. I was so puzzled by this because last time 4 out of 6 fertilized. He said if we do this again, we would need ICSI, a procedure where they inject a single sperm into each egg to aid in fertilization. I wasn't expecting that news at all. I am trying not to think about those other 7 eggs. I need to just believe these 2 are the best of them all anyway.
So in 12 days I will go for my blood test. These next 12 days are going to be emotionally draining. But that sums up IVF doesn't it? An emotional roller coaster.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Report cards
The nurse called a little while ago with my fertilization report. Of the 12 eggs we retrieved, 4 are fertilized. I have no idea what happened to the other 8 - were they immature? did they fertilize and just arrest? or did they not even fertilize? Hopefully we can find out more at the transfer - which is scheduled for tomorrow at 10am. Another 2 day transfer. I am trying not to feel like this cycle is repeating the last one but my mind keeps going there. It hasn't been nearly the same as last time except for this fertilization report. Last time we had 6 retrieved and 2 arrested before we got our report which left us with 4. They were lousy quality.
So, I am hoping and praying with every ounce of my being that these 4 - at least 2 of these 4 - are superstars. I know, it only takes one. But, in the game of IVF, more is usually better. I have never hid the fact that I really only want 1 child. Of course I would be happy with twins but it isn't something I long for. So only being able to transfer 2 in is comforting in a way. More than that would make me concerned about triplets. But at the same time, this is it for IJ and I, no more IVF so I want us to have the best possible chances of success and if there are 3 stars, then we will probably put in all 3. If there are 4, well, not sure. Whatever the doctor thinks is best is what we will likely end up doing.
Grow! Grow! Grow! my little embryos. I look forward to meeting you tomorrow morning.
So, I am hoping and praying with every ounce of my being that these 4 - at least 2 of these 4 - are superstars. I know, it only takes one. But, in the game of IVF, more is usually better. I have never hid the fact that I really only want 1 child. Of course I would be happy with twins but it isn't something I long for. So only being able to transfer 2 in is comforting in a way. More than that would make me concerned about triplets. But at the same time, this is it for IJ and I, no more IVF so I want us to have the best possible chances of success and if there are 3 stars, then we will probably put in all 3. If there are 4, well, not sure. Whatever the doctor thinks is best is what we will likely end up doing.
Grow! Grow! Grow! my little embryos. I look forward to meeting you tomorrow morning.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
And we're back
Retrieval went very well. We got 12 eggs this time. I as so happy with that. I cried when the doctor told us. Last time we only had 6 eggs. Praise God for this improvement.
There was a bit of trouble with my IV though. The nurse had a lot of trouble finding my vein. She also made the mistake of telling me she was nervous to do it. Not the right thing to share with me because I HATE the IV needles. Once it was in, I just knew something was still wrong. I was in some pain if I moved my arm even a fraction of an inch. Two other nurses came in and they decided to pull it out because it was causing me too much pain that they thought wouldn't subside. They decided to numb my right hand and put the IV in there. It went fine the second time. They sent the receptionist out to get IJ to help me calm down. We waited about 15 minutes and then they wheeled me in and I woke up later in recovery. Home resting now.
Tomorrow I will get my fertilization report. Can't wait to hear how my eggs are doing. Transfer will be Saturday or Sunday.
There was a bit of trouble with my IV though. The nurse had a lot of trouble finding my vein. She also made the mistake of telling me she was nervous to do it. Not the right thing to share with me because I HATE the IV needles. Once it was in, I just knew something was still wrong. I was in some pain if I moved my arm even a fraction of an inch. Two other nurses came in and they decided to pull it out because it was causing me too much pain that they thought wouldn't subside. They decided to numb my right hand and put the IV in there. It went fine the second time. They sent the receptionist out to get IJ to help me calm down. We waited about 15 minutes and then they wheeled me in and I woke up later in recovery. Home resting now.
Tomorrow I will get my fertilization report. Can't wait to hear how my eggs are doing. Transfer will be Saturday or Sunday.
Hittin' the road
We are leaving for the retrieval in about 10 minutes. My ovaries are angry this morning. Hopefully it is due to so many mature, high quality eggs. I was paranoid that I would ovulate early. Not sure why I was so concerned about it. I think because I stopped the Ganirelix on Monday night. I only took 2 doses. I feel like that wasn't enough but I have to trust the doctors. They know far more about this stuff than I do. My peanut butter and jelly socks are on and I am ready to go. I will report later. Prayers and thoughts much appreciated.
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