I never imagined it would be this difficult

So, since I never use this blog, I have decided to give it a specific purpose so that I use it more. It will now be my official IVF journal. Yes, IVF. Man I never thought I'd be in this position but, if IJ (my husband) and I want a baby, the RE says IVF gives us the most chance to have one.

I have been on birth control pills (yes, weird I know) for just over 2 weeks now. I finish up on Saturday. But this coming Wednesday, I start my first injection. Scary stuff for the girl who HATES needles. But, they are small and only have to go into my belly so shouldn't be too bad... or so I keep telling myself. So Lupron on Wednesday morning for about 2 weeks. This will suppress my ovulation so that the doctor can control when it happens. Once my new cycle starts sometime next week, I will start the stimulation injections to get my ovaries producing many, many eggs.

I can't explain the overwhelming feeling of this whole thing. Somedays, I am paralyzed with fear. Other days I feel like I am the strongest I have ever been. Hopefully, when I am staring down that first needle Wednesday morning, I am having a strong moment.

I will tell you one thing I have learned from this: it is amazing how many people deal with infertility. And how many go the route of injectible meds with IVF or IUI. Once I started talking to people about it (because I like to share things with anyone who will listen), almost daily I would learn of another person that I knew that went through the same thing. One good thing is, I have a large support system both in my personal life and work life. It will be good. It won't be fun or comfortable, but it will be good in the end. And hopefully, in about 6 weeks from now, I will be pregnant.

Oh, I should have mentioned that I have lost 13lbs in the past 9 weeks. I <3 WeightWatchers! Figured it a good idea to get my body in better shape before growing a child in there.