8dp2dt

aka: 10dpo, the time when I start to get anxious.

So many waves of hope and discouragement. One minute I am sure this time worked, the next minute I am sure it didn't. Other than a few vivid dreams, I am feeling no symptoms. I had some period type cramping yesterday, but I also had some gas pain so I am not sure which was which and when. I want this so badly. But I am so afraid that I can't have it. Just a few more days of waiting. In less than 96 hours, I will know.

3dp2dt

Translated is 3 days past 2 day transfer....

Embryo transfer was only 3 days ago and I am bored staying home. I go back to work on Thursday so I have been trying to do a little more each day. I think I overdid it a bit yesterday - my first non all day resting day. I was quilting a queen size quilt so I had to deal with ironing it and trying to maneuver it through the sewing machine. It was heavy and awkward but I just couldn't sit still anymore. I didn't do much else but did spend about 5 hours quilting. I had some cramping and a little brown spotting. I called the doctor's office and the nurse said it was normal and a good sign.

Today I took the dog for a light walk. It felt so nice to actually leave my condo! I made some cookies for IJ and I sewed the trim on the quilt so that I can start the hand sewing today. Now I am relaxing with some lunch.

Still have a little cramping and now I don't want the cramping to stop. I am feeling very different this cycle. Feeling a lot more this cycle which makes sense because I got twice the eggs this time. I am technically 5 days passed ovulation and this is about the time when an embryo (or 2) can implant. So I welcome all of these twinges that are giving me hope. I want this so badly, more than I have admitted to myself previously. I think I have kept questioning if I want this in order to not get let down if it doesn't work. I am not a big fan of disappointment.

So I press on through this awful 2 week wait. But I welcome the awful because at the end, it will be pure joy when I get those positive beta results.

Report cards

The nurse called a little while ago with my fertilization report. Of the 12 eggs we retrieved, 4 are fertilized. I have no idea what happened to the other 8 - were they immature? did they fertilize and just arrest? or did they not even fertilize? Hopefully we can find out more at the transfer - which is scheduled for tomorrow at 10am. Another 2 day transfer. I am trying not to feel like this cycle is repeating the last one but my mind keeps going there. It hasn't been nearly the same as last time except for this fertilization report. Last time we had 6 retrieved and 2 arrested before we got our report which left us with 4. They were lousy quality.

So, I am hoping and praying with every ounce of my being that these 4 - at least 2 of these 4 - are superstars. I know, it only takes one. But, in the game of IVF, more is usually better. I have never hid the fact that I really only want 1 child. Of course I would be happy with twins but it isn't something I long for. So only being able to transfer 2 in is comforting in a way. More than that would make me concerned about triplets. But at the same time, this is it for IJ and I, no more IVF so I want us to have the best possible chances of success and if there are 3 stars, then we will probably put in all 3. If there are 4, well, not sure. Whatever the doctor thinks is best is what we will likely end up doing.

Grow! Grow! Grow! my little embryos. I look forward to meeting you tomorrow morning.

Seeing red

Spotting! WHAT!?!?!? If my temps are right, I only ovulated a week ago - not a good LP. Perhaps Dr. Hardy is right, temps do not mean anything and I did ovulate way back on CD14 like my symptoms implied. That would make me a "normal" person. And it would bump my IVF schedule up a week and put my retrieval around October 21 - the day before my nephew B's 4th birthday party. This will be cutting it close. I don't want to miss the party.

We'll see what the rest of the day brings before I call the doctor's office. wowza

Edited to add: Officially cycle day 1. Pills start tomorrow and I should be stimming in 3.5 weeks. o.m.g!

Um, What the?!?!?!!?

So the pharmacy just called to confirm my Rx before sending the meds for IVF#2. So she is reading the script off to me and it just wasn't sounding right. When she finished, and I looked at the list, and it was the script from IVF#1. So I said that to her and she said it was JUST faxed over from the RE. So, I immediately call the RE's office and sure enough, they sent the wrong script over. Um, hello, this is expensive medication. What if they had shipped all this useless stuff to me (granted, some of it is the same but the amount needed is much different) and I had paid for it. What a waste that would have been!

So, all will be fine, the right script is going over today and I will call the pharmacy when I am ready to fill it. I want to wait until I know this natural cycle didn't work before I order. Because there is that 7% chance I could actually get pregnant on my own like a "normal" person. lol

Here I Go Again!

Appointment with the RE went well. We are trying again!! He is using a different medication protocol called an Antagonist Protocol. There will be less weeks of shots but the dose of one of the meds (Menopur) will triple. It is the medication protocol I thought he would do so at least my research has been valid. I should have my retrieval around mid-October (my birthday).

He said I didn't respond well last cycle. (um, duh!) The Lupron may have suppressed me too much. No Lupron this time. I didn't have enough mature eggs and the ones I did have weren't very good. He thinks the 2 we transferred probably didn't survive more than a day or 2 inside me. SO the goal this time to is find my good eggs and give them time to mature and feed them plenty of hormones to help them grow.

So here's how it will shake down:

3 weeks of BCPs starting day 2 of my next cycle

on day 2 of the following cycle, I will go in for baseline BW and U/S

that same day I will inject 3 VIALS OF MENOPUR (YIKES!!)

next morning, 225 of Gonal-F (same as last time)

I will continue this AM and PM regimen for a few days - BW and U/S mixed in there too

at approximately cd 7, I will start injecting Ganirelix to prevent ovulation (instead of Lupron) and continue the other 2 meds

a few days later I will trigger with HCG as I did last time

a day and a half later is the retrieval (approx Oct 15)

and then we will figure out the transfer date

I should have my beta test before Halloween. Wouldn't a Positive be a nice treat - no Negative as a trick.


Edited to add: In looking at a calendar more closely, I don't think I will have my retrieval until the last week of October. So that would put the beta mid November. The RE got a phone call while we were talking dates and I think that threw him off.

One more day....

Tomorrow is our meeting with the RE. I hope the news is good. When the nurse called last week to say I didn't need the birth control pills, I wasn't sure what to think. Trying to stay positive about it. We will have a plan in about 27 hours.